Emotions

Have you ever had one of those weeks where so much happened in your life, but you feel like you haven’t achieved anything? That’s me this week.

While I had prepared family things for Valentine’s Day (baking, cards etc), I hadn’t, and couldn’t have been prepared for the onslaught of emotionally draining baggage.

Early in the week I found out a dear friend had made a short documentary about repatriating to Armenia. My husband translated for me as we watched. It left me an emotional wreck. What she was saying about the feeling of living in Armenia was exactly how I feel. Tears flowed, emotions that had been pushed down rose up and erupted.

This had followed a trip to the shops the previous weekend, where I had that familiar overwhelming feeling that I don’t want to be here, that I want to be living where I feel at peace and where I feel home is – Armenia. It’s a feeling that has never left me, and only becomes stronger since our return to Australia at the end of 2005.

This week has been full of emotions erupting about this subject, emotions that had been suppressed in order to function in day to day life here – an inner agony that I’ve had to silence.

Our children have known since our return that living in Australia is temporary. The dream has never died. Over the last 10 months we have worked very hard to get our project up and running again. And we thought we’d done it when we had someone very interested in a 50% partnership. It came to the stage of signing a contract and transferring funds. And then it fizzled out. So close, yet so far away. It’s the closest we had come since 2005.

Unless you’ve lived this, you have no idea – when you’ve worked hard to make your dream come to life and (finally!) you have someone who says “Yes, ok, let’s do it!” and that person continues to reassure you that “Yes, we’re doing it, there's just a delay in funds clearing and transferring”, and so you start planning travel arrangements, you start to tell family about it. Then that person fades away as if none of it was said – it leaves you crushed.

But because we’re committed to this cause, and it is, we believe, our life purpose, we WILL find a way to make it happen.

As Winston Churchill said “Never, never, never give up”

We will find that partner who shares our vision to (as my husband would say) ‘revolutionise Armenian football’. That person is out there, we just need to find them!

Yerevan United WILL return to Armenian Football one day, God willing. And then all those fans and ex-players that keep sending us emails, will rejoice!